I was back to my original position on top of the wheelhouse
listening to a Beatles mp3 CD on random play, when on comes 'Nowhere Man', and suddenly it was 1966 again and I was back on the Rosendale School journey from South London to Cornwall and I realised that was the original progenitor of this trip, and others before it, the discovery that you could still breathe on other planets, and that you didn't have to understand a place or accept responsibility for it to survive there.
And now look.
I live in Cornwall and the discoveries continue.
It is three weeks today since I left home.
It feels like much, much longer
Another week or more until we dock in Dover
Then some upcountry days before I go home
You cant turn off
You have no right
You cant and mustn’t wish your life away
You must make each moment worthwhile
That must be the credo of those who know
We are born, we live and then we die.
But I have made the mistake
Of placing myself into the power of others
In such a way that they assume they can take me for granted
Not to make that mistake again is a powerful lesson of this journey:
Do not join others' journey
Maintain responsibility for your own.
you've got to write things down for the camera
you've got to be seen to be writing
that's what we do
stereotypes
not enough just to be
but to be seen to be what we are
to truly be it
otherwise we aren't at all
nothing
back to the non-drawing board
of those not allowed to draw.
There are lifeboats, liferafts, life jackets
but out here you are soon out of range
of anything other than ships like yourselves
and they will be subject to the same conditions
that caused your own downfall
it is the duty of all seafarers
to come to the aid of other mariners
and also their conviction that they should
and their joy to do so
humans know they owe duty to each other
and find their greatest fulfilment in giving it
the sea makes clear what humans are
but it is possible that no one will be able to help you
as you drift in some small life-craft
You will wait
and you will wait
until you cease
no professional helicopter rescue for the local news
here there is no locality
no valiant lifeboat
there is nowhere to launch
no pub to run out of
shop to abandon
school to quit at the sound of maroons
2100: Clocks forward 1hr to GMT -3.
This is their place of work
This is their shop floor, their forecourt, their office suite, their delivery van
Ways have been found to cope with the everyday
The consequences of the extraordinary are of the same nature
But much much worse
And by no means uncommon
We roll to port my cabin creaks
We roll to starboard - from the refrigerator comes the delicate ring
Of lager bottles
Counted and timed carefully and then rechecked
Three a day will see me off this ship
And the same number of tea bags
1625: Posn. N23 05 W55 22.
Course 043.
Speed 19.7 Kn. 2792nm (?), end 1130 2nd November.
1615: Still no email. Tomorrow I'll email Faversham and try to phone Sue.
The weather has improved but there is a big ocean swell coming in from the north west . I wonder what is causing that.
Last night we couldn't get into the video room so I stayed in the Officers' Mess, listened to an mp3 CD by virtue of one of my many wires and revised Cornish for a couple of hours. I got quite a lot done, and remembered some basic things I had forgotten, so it wasn't wasted time. I got into the video room at 2130 and watched an old Lew Grade film starring Richard Burton, called The Medusa Touch. Most enjoyable.
1045: A bad night's sleep due to increased movement in the North Atlantic seaway. So I feel a bit hellish.
I have a nominal release date - next Tuesday evening (2/11). Evening in Dover - how I look forward to it. The question is, will my phone work to contact Faversham about a possible pick up.
The bed that you'd made
that you'd lie in
is scooting north east at 20 knots
the strange world you've fallen into
through making plans in your own world
is Russian and owes you nothing.
misadventure
The moon leads our way home.