So much steel in these things.
Somewhere there must be a giant hole where all this iron was in the earth.
So much effort.
So much weld
So much work.
From different directions, the ship and the white sea bird continued their journeys from horizon to horizon, a passage that would take a lifetime.
It's not simple
nothing is simple
nothing that you've ever known is simple
nothing is
but we can choose the words we use
simple words fuse
to say more.
2225: The last night, and that doesn't make it any better. Let me off! I feel knackered and I hope I can sleep a few hours of it away. I keep having accidents, a sure sign of stress for me. And depressed too. The set! And comma abuse. Basta!
1630:
Posn.: N47 54 W09 17.
Speed: 18.5Kn
Course: 063
ETA: 1824 2/11/04.
We are still about 8 hours from the waypoint on the Ushant / Scillies line. I estimate we'll get there about midnight tonight.
It is futile to try to convey experience
How much would you need to capture
Sights and sounds
Then feelings, like the pulse of the engine
Smells
The feeling of the air on skin
The awareness of it all around you
Yourself in this world
And not only the world to hand
But those you approach and leave behind
The lack of knowledge of what comes next
What might happen - the assessment and listing of fears,
Hopes & possibilities
But perhaps above all what we bring to it
What has made us what we are
To perceive what we do
To choose what we do
To be where we are
And where we can go from here.
Writing on the deck is no longer to be taken for granted
The wind is a smart weapon
That finds a way precisely to stop what you want to do.
And it brings the cold.
The first sense and scents of a continent
The red of fishing floats hides and seeks amongst the waves
Sea birds, lazy flap, within range
Of what they need to call home.
all the energies in the ship
to roll, pitch, slam, rise & fall
to rattle, tinkle, knock and crack
to throb and vibrate at whatever frequency
to shake your fillings in your mouth
and tremble cheeks when you sleep
to roll your pencil off the table
to make everlasting noise
and even to move the ship along
from the great engine.
1810: Suddenly it's Piccadilly Circus (or Trafalgar Roundabout) out there! A big ship just crossed our bow east to west and to starboard there are perhaps ten lights, possibly a fishing fleet.
0945: I'd been up on the top filming and I was returning to the cabin when, from the starboard wing deck, I saw a whale spouting! It was some distance away on the starboard beam and I couldn't get a shot of it. It wasn't particularly impressive at such a range - all you could see was the fountain.
Coming down the steps from the wing deck to the quarterdeck, I slipped and went down. I hurt my left arm a bit but it is nothing. But the video camera is damaged.
0805: Better weather this morning. A cloudy dawn and now a clearing sky, and sunny. There seems to be less wind and the sea has abated, so perhaps we can pick up speed again.
I have loads of teabags left, having done all my planning based on arrival on November 4th. But it pays to remember the old adage: never count your teabags before....
Purple clouds to the north and east
The Western Approaches, the great mouth of Europe
It is too cold now to write outside
As whatever polices the fitness of seasons
imposes late Autumn in a matter of hours.
The pointlessness of it
How many people's lives are like this?
Satisfies to know you'll be alive at the end of the day
There will be work for you tomorrow
This then this then this
My recipe for coping with despair
Theirs for a lifetime
With no spare for thought
Change
Hope
Or revolution
A brief dose of starvation
Makes this enough
The argument that although this life is shit
There is worse elsewhere
And meanwhile banana kings,
Queens , royalty & aristocracy
Live a life of a twelve month year
24 hours a day
Not of 6-month ghost times
One night ashore
Then a month of trying to rebuild a life
Worthy of a name in your absence
These people were better off our enemy
So worthy of respect
Now they have been relabelled cheap labour
And capitalism ponces off a state’s investment in their people
Which showed no profit.
Another non-renewable resource
To use up then move on
There will always be some by-product of the beliefs of others
For those who have no belief
Except in the flow of money
You should have asked for so much more
You could have demanded so much more
Perhaps you still can....